What is our standard of Utopia? Everyone getting along? No disagreements? No fighting? No tragedies? No drama? No pains? No suffering? No deaths?

Then isn't that just a replay of the Stepford town? For those of you who don't know what the "Stepford" means. It was a movie about the perfect town where everyone was cheery, happy, and agreeable at all times. It was actually creepy. It is unfortunate that we have to label something positive and good as creepy but either way, that's how the director depicted this idea in the movie. And not that I'm a dark person because I am not, but it would really be creepy if no one had any problems or disagreements.

Disagreements is a way to understand each other and to express our individuality and ideas. In the process, there may be fighting or conflicts but as long as we have the heart to resolve things and out of our love for God and peace, we make amends by fixing our rough edges. Pastor Joshua (Jung Myung Seok) said it best. He said that smooth sand is formed by rocks rubbing against each other. Ever since, I found myself not just dismissing someone because of a simple disagreement or differences in opinions. Instead, I learned to understand and accept that each person is unique and indeed valuable. And I had to learn to confront these differences with the attitude of making peace, not to make them think what I think.

And pain? What about that saying, "No pain, no gain?" After a hard workout, I feel pain and I actually like it. It tells me that I had worked hard and seeing the muscles that follow soon afterward gives me a sense of gratification. Without pain, how can we really appreciate the glories and its rewards? God gave us nerves to feel pain so that we can understand what areas of our bodies need attention. Without pain, we can be stabbed to death and we wouldn't even know it.

So in Providence, too, there are disagreements, pains, conflicts, and these things can make a person suffer depending on how capable we are in handling them. This tells me that Providence is truly not a "Stepford" town. Providence is a place where there are all types of people, artists and scientists, rigid and fluid, dominant and submissive, extroverts and introverts. I am constantly challenged because I encounter all types of people with their ideas, strengths and their flaws. This helps me to,with no offense intended, check to see if I have certain flaws like them, and hope that I can have similar strengths.

Honestly, I do understand why people would leave Providence simply because of misunderstandings or disagreements with others in Providence. I really do. I would do the same back then just as anyone would transfer to new schools, workplaces, or neighborhoods if they have a falling out with someone. But I choose to see the "not-so-nice" people in Providence as people who need to work out their salvation as I also must. And by whose standards are they not nice? Who's to say that maybe we are the ones at fault? It all depends on our standards of Utopia.

And so many times, when people speak ill of others to me, I don't see them as any different. So isn't it better to just better ourselves instead of blaming others for the rest of our lives? Here's a rule of thumb. If you constantly find yourself encountering the same type of people, most likely the problem is you.

Please don't take this as an attack on you. This is only an attempt to make aware that we should better ourselves instead of constantly trying to change everyone around us.